• Tom Sobel-Rowden

How Vulnerability Is Powerful

Updated: Sep 24, 2019

We have all been raised to be strong, to pull on our ‘big-girl pants’ or to ‘man up’. It is how our ancestors have had to live for a long time due to wars, rough living conditions, and much more. Sadly, because it has run for so long within our family lineage, our parents haven’t had to possibility to learn the power of vulnerability, let alone to teach us it. While we may have not had the opportunity to grow up being taught that vulnerability is okay, we do have the to learn it now and to pass it along to our children and to those that we love.




We so easily believe that the strongest of us are those that show no emotion or reactions, however, the mentally strongest people do not hide their true emotions. When we start looking within we find that a few of these wonderful things happen to us. We learn to be unique, and appreciate what it is that makes us unique, you are able to let go of the past, you start attracting positivity and positive people, you find yourself more empathetic, you will learn to trust, you will strengthen bonds, and you will show that you are a human.


Once you start to look inwards, you start to see some amazing results such as your individuality. The things that make you who you are, your uniqueness and your quirks. By giving into vulnerability you are embracing these individual things which make you so special. Whether you think they are weird, or awkward in your eyes, they are only so until you learn to accept and consequently feel comfortable with them. The best thing you can do for yourself is to be confident in weird things that make you-you.


Once you have heightened your comfortability by accepting your uniqueness, you will find that you have heightened your confidence in approaching sensitive subjects. The main one of those being the acknowledgment of memories that may be holding you back or bringing you down. Being vulnerable to those feelings will allow for you to get rid of them. It may not be the easiest tasks in the world, since so often memories are painful, it is, however, better to confront your past than hiding from it. Don’t judge yourself, be kind to yourself, we have all made decisions we feel like we regret, however, instead of feeling regret, look for the lesson within that can help you prevent similar mistakes in the future. And then let it go.


When you start approaching yourself like this you will notice that you attract more like-minded people. Being vulnerable not only help you understand what type of person you are but what type of people you most relate to. Make sure to pick those you choose to have around you carefully, and trust your instincts. Love all people, but only put your total faith in those true friends who are worthy of your trust.


When you start attracting those kinds of people, you start empathizing with how they feel, and what their struggles are. It is our own vulnerability which helps you develop this empathy and create a person whom others want to be around. While it may seem hard to demonstrate compassion for the struggles of another person, it is by far the best thing we can do for ourselves. Always keep in mind that every person has their own struggles. They may not be ready to be vulnerable and tell you, this is no excuse though for treating them poorly.


Since being vulnerable helps you grow trust within others, it is also helping you grow closer to them. You will find that this not only comes into play in your home and social life but also in your work life. We’ve all had that coworker who doesn’t seem to acknowledge us or doesn’t like to get back to us right away, even if we have marked something urgent. However, this new sense of vulnerability will make you look within more to see what you can do on your end to continue building a positive relationship.

Another relationship you are strengthening by being vulnerable is that of your bond with your romantic partner. This is the person you love most in life and trust most in life. The more open and vulnerable you are the more you strengthen that bond. While it may seem scary to revel you deep dark secrets due to the potential fear of being judged, you will be surprised to find out that you won't be, and your mind will, therefore, be at ease, allowing your love to grow and flourish. It is so common to put up barriers to protect ourselves from getting hurt. But if we truly want to let someone in and spend the rest of our lives with them, then we have to break those down and be vulnerable.


By taking all these little steps you start to re-humanise yourself. To be vulnerable is to be human. It is this humanity that allows you to bring in good people who are kind and like-minded. While it may seem so difficult and impossible to find the courage to stand in front of the world completely naked, there is no better way to encourage those you care about to do the same. Since it is so common to feel lack of self-esteem, they want to put up walls, and the need for protection, taking slow steps towards vulnerability can make some massive changes in your life. Keep in mind that you will always have down days, and that is okay. Use your new found power of vulnerability to express to your loved ones that you are having a down day. Accept yourself, flaws and all, because the positive change comes from within.

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